I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she peed on how many people?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
