Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
