Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
