my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
They have beer where we have blood.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
