before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
