I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
