I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
