OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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