I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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