Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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