You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
