Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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