If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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