Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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