I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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