Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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