i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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