Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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