Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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