So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
