was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
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