i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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