OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize