Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
