Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize