She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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