So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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