I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
