Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
