This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
