I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
