I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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