we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
