Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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