Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
