She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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