4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
