god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
