somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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