I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
