I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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