Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize