Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize