i barfeds in our rink
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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