And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
it hurts more in the daytime
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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