what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
