Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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