just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
