Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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