Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
