I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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