OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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