i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
