I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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