I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
