Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
