sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
