i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize